christmas-spirit
Original: christmas-spirit on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (praying, hands clasped): Dear Jesus, what is the true spirit of Christmas?
Panel 2:
Jesus (appearing in a cloud): Crass commercialism.
Panel 3:
Woman: What about family? And baby you in the manger?
Panel 4:
Jesus: That doesn't put food on a poor family's table!
Panel 5:
Jesus: It's a major contributor to rising wealth in the developing world.
Panel 6:
Jesus: I say, keep up your demand for super-fluous consumer goods. You get what you want and the poverty rate overseas keeps falling.
Panel 7:
Woman: I'm gonna make my mom a homemade card from locally-sourced paper.
Panel 8:
Jesus: So it's all about you, huh?
Votey:
Jesus (in cloud, head turned away/annoyed): Buy a fucking toaster, Louise.
Woman (praying, hands clasped): Dear Jesus, what is the true spirit of Christmas?
Panel 2:
Jesus (appearing in a cloud): Crass commercialism.
Panel 3:
Woman: What about family? And baby you in the manger?
Panel 4:
Jesus: That doesn't put food on a poor family's table!
Panel 5:
Jesus: It's a major contributor to rising wealth in the developing world.
Panel 6:
Jesus: I say, keep up your demand for super-fluous consumer goods. You get what you want and the poverty rate overseas keeps falling.
Panel 7:
Woman: I'm gonna make my mom a homemade card from locally-sourced paper.
Panel 8:
Jesus: So it's all about you, huh?
Votey:
Jesus (in cloud, head turned away/annoyed): Buy a fucking toaster, Louise.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A woman with reddish hair kneels in prayer and asks, "Dear Jesus, what is the true spirit of Christmas?" Jesus, a bearded man with a golden halo, appears in a cloud and answers, "Crass commercialism." When she protests, "What about family? And baby you in the manger?" he replies that family "doesn't put food on a poor family's table!" He argues that commercialism is a major contributor to rising wealth in the developing world, and urges her to keep up her demand for superfluous consumer goods because it makes the overseas poverty rate keep falling. The woman counters that she's going to make her mom a homemade card from locally-sourced paper, and Jesus snaps, "So it's all about you, huh?" In the votey, Jesus turns his head away in exasperation and says, "Buy a fucking toaster, Louise."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.