help
Original: help on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman struggles with a bearded man over a purse on a city street.
Woman: "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Panel 2: A smug man in a dark cloak appears.
Cloaked man: "I'M LITIGIOUS MAN."
Panel 3: Litigious Man addresses the woman and the bearded man.
Litigious Man: "WAS ANYONE DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL?"
Panel 4: The bearded man responds, holding the purse.
Bearded man: "I WAS HOLDING HER PURSE FOR HER."
Panel 5:
Woman: "HE WAS HOLDING MY PURSE."
Panel 6: Litigious Man departs, leaping away, as the woman and bearded man stand together.
Litigious Man: "WE WILL GO BACK TO DOING NOTHING NOW."
Bearded man: "AGREED."
Panel 7: Litigious Man, content.
Litigious Man: "I LOVE MAKING A DIFFERENCE."
Votey:
The bearded man (now seen close up, looking blank/uneasy) holds out the purse.
Speech bubble: "That'll be $400"
Woman: "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Panel 2: A smug man in a dark cloak appears.
Cloaked man: "I'M LITIGIOUS MAN."
Panel 3: Litigious Man addresses the woman and the bearded man.
Litigious Man: "WAS ANYONE DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL?"
Panel 4: The bearded man responds, holding the purse.
Bearded man: "I WAS HOLDING HER PURSE FOR HER."
Panel 5:
Woman: "HE WAS HOLDING MY PURSE."
Panel 6: Litigious Man departs, leaping away, as the woman and bearded man stand together.
Litigious Man: "WE WILL GO BACK TO DOING NOTHING NOW."
Bearded man: "AGREED."
Panel 7: Litigious Man, content.
Litigious Man: "I LOVE MAKING A DIFFERENCE."
Votey:
The bearded man (now seen close up, looking blank/uneasy) holds out the purse.
Speech bubble: "That'll be $400"
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic about a useless superhero. Panel 1: On a city street, a woman cries "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" as a bearded man grabs her purse. Panel 2: A smug man in a dark cloak appears, announcing "I'M LITIGIOUS MAN." Panel 3: He asks the pair, "WAS ANYONE DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING AT ALL?" Panel 4: The bearded man, holding the purse, says "I WAS HOLDING HER PURSE FOR HER." Panel 5: The woman adds, "HE WAS HOLDING MY PURSE." Panel 6: Satisfied there was no crime to litigate, Litigious Man leaps away saying "WE WILL GO BACK TO DOING NOTHING NOW," and the bearded man replies "AGREED." Panel 7: Flying off, Litigious Man muses, "I LOVE MAKING A DIFFERENCE." The joke: a superhero whose only power is asking if anyone is doing something legally actionable, accomplishing nothing. Votey (bonus panel): The bearded man holds out the purse and says "That'll be $400" — revealing he was charging her for the purse-holding all along.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.