survival
Original: survival on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Bunker man (bald, eyepatch, military jacket): WELCOME TO MY SURVIVAL BUNKER. I'M PREPPED FOR THE IMMINENT COLLAPSE, WHETHER SOCIO, BIO, OR NUKE.
Panel 2:
Visitor (red-haired man): WHERE'S THE WATER?
Panel 3:
Bunker man: NO WATER. NO RISK OF DROWNING. SURVIVAL 101.
Panel 4:
Visitor: AND THE FOOD?
Bunker man: WITHOUT FOOD, I'LL BE FORCED TO LEARN TO LIVE OFF THE LAND. HUGE SAVINGS IN TIME.
Panel 5:
Visitor: HOW ABOUT A GUN?
Bunker man: A GUN? SUPPOSE WE GET ATTACKED. THOSE ATTACKERS MIGHT STEAL THE GUN. NOW WE'RE DEFENSELESS!
Panel 6:
Visitor: SO YOUR PLAN IN CASE OF NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE IS...
Panel 7:
Bunker man: I'M GONNA PLAY THE ODDS AND BE DEAD.
Caption (bottom): THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU THANKS TO BUYERS OF 'SOONISH'! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION!
Votey:
Close-up of the bunker man (bald, eyepatch, stubble) with a sly expression, leaning in:
CAN I BORROW TEN BUCKS?
Bunker man (bald, eyepatch, military jacket): WELCOME TO MY SURVIVAL BUNKER. I'M PREPPED FOR THE IMMINENT COLLAPSE, WHETHER SOCIO, BIO, OR NUKE.
Panel 2:
Visitor (red-haired man): WHERE'S THE WATER?
Panel 3:
Bunker man: NO WATER. NO RISK OF DROWNING. SURVIVAL 101.
Panel 4:
Visitor: AND THE FOOD?
Bunker man: WITHOUT FOOD, I'LL BE FORCED TO LEARN TO LIVE OFF THE LAND. HUGE SAVINGS IN TIME.
Panel 5:
Visitor: HOW ABOUT A GUN?
Bunker man: A GUN? SUPPOSE WE GET ATTACKED. THOSE ATTACKERS MIGHT STEAL THE GUN. NOW WE'RE DEFENSELESS!
Panel 6:
Visitor: SO YOUR PLAN IN CASE OF NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE IS...
Panel 7:
Bunker man: I'M GONNA PLAY THE ODDS AND BE DEAD.
Caption (bottom): THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU THANKS TO BUYERS OF 'SOONISH'! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION!
Votey:
Close-up of the bunker man (bald, eyepatch, stubble) with a sly expression, leaning in:
CAN I BORROW TEN BUCKS?
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A bald man with an eyepatch and a military jacket gives a red-haired visitor a tour of his survival bunker, claiming to be prepped for any imminent collapse. The visitor asks where the water is; the man says there's none, because no water means no risk of drowning ('Survival 101'). Asked about food, he says going without it will force him to learn to live off the land, a 'huge savings in time.' Asked about a gun, he reasons that attackers might steal it and leave them defenseless, so he has none either. The visitor sums up: 'So your plan in case of nuclear apocalypse is...' and the man replies, 'I'm gonna play the odds and be dead.' A caption thanks buyers of the book 'Soonish.' In the votey, a close-up of the bunker man leaning in with a sly grin asks, 'Can I borrow ten bucks?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.