will-he
Original: will-he on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (praying): God, are you all-powerful?
God (speech bubble): Yes.
Panel 2:
Man: And do you have complete free will?
God: Of course.
Panel 3:
Man: So it'd follow that no human being could compel you to do anything?
God: Indeed.
Panel 4:
Man: Great. So, in order to prove I'm more powerful than God, I'm gonna force you to send me to hell by never going to church, making fun of scripture, and fornicating in as many ways as human physiology permits.
Panel 5:
The man grins smugly, looking pleased with himself.
Panel 6:
God (speech bubble): ...
Panel 7 (caption banner): A FEW DECADES LATER...
An elderly bearded man stands at a podium with an open book in the clouds, hand on his forehead, a golden halo hovering nearby. A dark silhouette stands before him.
First voice (the bearded gatekeeper): I dunno, Lord. His transcript isn't so great.
God (offscreen): Just give him his stupid halo, okay?
Votey:
A close-up of the smug man's face, smiling, with a speech bubble: Then I'm gonna read blasphemous comics!
Man (praying): God, are you all-powerful?
God (speech bubble): Yes.
Panel 2:
Man: And do you have complete free will?
God: Of course.
Panel 3:
Man: So it'd follow that no human being could compel you to do anything?
God: Indeed.
Panel 4:
Man: Great. So, in order to prove I'm more powerful than God, I'm gonna force you to send me to hell by never going to church, making fun of scripture, and fornicating in as many ways as human physiology permits.
Panel 5:
The man grins smugly, looking pleased with himself.
Panel 6:
God (speech bubble): ...
Panel 7 (caption banner): A FEW DECADES LATER...
An elderly bearded man stands at a podium with an open book in the clouds, hand on his forehead, a golden halo hovering nearby. A dark silhouette stands before him.
First voice (the bearded gatekeeper): I dunno, Lord. His transcript isn't so great.
God (offscreen): Just give him his stupid halo, okay?
Votey:
A close-up of the smug man's face, smiling, with a speech bubble: Then I'm gonna read blasphemous comics!
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A young man with reddish hair kneels in prayer, talking to God (shown as glowing speech bubbles). Panel 1: 'God, are you all-powerful?' God: 'Yes.' Panel 2: 'And do you have complete free will?' God: 'Of course.' Panel 3: 'So it'd follow that no human being could compel you to do anything?' God: 'Indeed.' Panel 4: The man triumphantly declares he'll prove he's more powerful than God by forcing God to send him to hell -- never going to church, mocking scripture, and fornicating in as many ways as human physiology permits. Panel 5: He grins smugly. Panel 6: God replies only with '...'. Final panel, captioned 'A FEW DECADES LATER...': an old bearded figure at a heavenly podium with an open book and a floating golden halo says 'I dunno, Lord. His transcript isn't so great,' to which God answers offscreen, 'Just give him his stupid halo, okay?' -- meaning God simply let him into heaven anyway, defeating his whole scheme. Votey: a close-up of the smug man's smiling face saying 'Then I'm gonna read blasphemous comics!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.