2013-05-20
Original: 2013-05-20 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption banner): SMALL CHILDREN WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU SAY.
Mother (woman with light hair and glasses): The universe started five minutes ago. Everything prior to that is a false history crafted by billions of conspirators who work tirelessly to maintain the illusion.
Young child (with flame-like orange hair, holding a green toy/object): Neat!
Panel 2 (caption banner): ONCE OLDER, THEY BELIEVE NOTHING YOU SAY.
Mother (light hair and glasses, in foreground): This toast is good.
Older child (orange hair, holding a notebook/tablet, milk carton and glass on the table): No. This toast tastes like what the corporate fascists tell you is good.
Panel 3 (caption banner): BUT THERE'S THIS LIMINAL MOMENT, RIGHT IN BETWEEN. THAT'S WHERE THE REAL FUN HAPPENS.
Mother (light hair and glasses): Did you know Grampa is so old, he helped design the metric system.
Child (orange hair): No way. Nobody lives that long. Wait... do they? No...
Mother: Then how come they named the gram after him?
Child: WHOAAAAAA.
Votey:
Father (man with light hair): What do you think the point of having children is?
Other person: Amusing lies. ...what?
Mother (woman with light hair and glasses): The universe started five minutes ago. Everything prior to that is a false history crafted by billions of conspirators who work tirelessly to maintain the illusion.
Young child (with flame-like orange hair, holding a green toy/object): Neat!
Panel 2 (caption banner): ONCE OLDER, THEY BELIEVE NOTHING YOU SAY.
Mother (light hair and glasses, in foreground): This toast is good.
Older child (orange hair, holding a notebook/tablet, milk carton and glass on the table): No. This toast tastes like what the corporate fascists tell you is good.
Panel 3 (caption banner): BUT THERE'S THIS LIMINAL MOMENT, RIGHT IN BETWEEN. THAT'S WHERE THE REAL FUN HAPPENS.
Mother (light hair and glasses): Did you know Grampa is so old, he helped design the metric system.
Child (orange hair): No way. Nobody lives that long. Wait... do they? No...
Mother: Then how come they named the gram after him?
Child: WHOAAAAAA.
Votey:
Father (man with light hair): What do you think the point of having children is?
Other person: Amusing lies. ...what?
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic about lying to children at different ages. Panel 1, captioned "Small children will believe anything you say": a mother tells her young orange-haired child, "The universe started five minutes ago. Everything prior to that is a false history crafted by billions of conspirators who work tirelessly to maintain the illusion." The child happily replies, "Neat!" Panel 2, captioned "Once older, they believe nothing you say": the mother says, "This toast is good," and her now-older child sourly counters, "No. This toast tastes like what the corporate fascists tell you is good." Panel 3, captioned "But there's this liminal moment, right in between. That's where the real fun happens": the mother says, "Did you know Grampa is so old, he helped design the metric system." The child says, "No way. Nobody lives that long. Wait... do they? No..." The mother adds, "Then how come they named the gram after him?" and the child, overwhelmed, says, "WHOAAAAAA." Votey: a rough black-and-white sketch. A father asks, "What do you think the point of having children is?" The reply: "Amusing lies. ...What?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.