ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

2012-07-23

Original: 2012-07-23 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
A man with dark hair sits at a restaurant table, smiling slightly. A speech bubble from an unseen person across the table (only their nose/face edge is visible at right) addresses him.

Unseen date: BEFORE YOU DECIDE WHETHER YOU WANT A SECOND DATE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I'VE CONTEXTUALIZED MY CLINGY DESPERATION AS A DEEP FORM OF ROMANCE, AND YOUR AGREEMENT TO THAT CONTEXTUALIZATION IS THE THIN LINE BETWEEN MY WORSHIPPING YOU AND CALLING YOU A BITCH ONLINE.

Caption below panel: Honesty is the second best policy.

Votey:
A close-up sketch of the man's face. Two speech bubbles.

Man: MAYBE SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE?
Unseen date: DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ME!

Alt text

A man with dark hair sits across a restaurant table from a date whose face is only partly visible at the edge of the frame. The date's speech bubble says: "Before you decide whether you want a second date, you should know that I've contextualized my clingy desperation as a deep form of romance, and your agreement to that contextualization is the thin line between my worshipping you and calling you a bitch online." A caption beneath the panel reads: "Honesty is the second best policy." In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the man's face: he asks "Maybe split the difference?" and the date snaps back, "Don't try to change me!"

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.