2010-10-04
Original: 2010-10-04 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (header): REALITY HAS TWO DIMENSIONS OF TIME: PROPER TIME AND REMEMBERED TIME.
Labels: PROPER (with a straight arrow) / REMEMBERED (with a chaotic, tangled scribble of a line).
Panel 2: PROPER TIME IS KEPT ON WATCHES.
Label on a watch: March 23, 1993 / 3:14 PM o'clock
Panel 3: REMEMBERED TIME IS STORED IN NEURONS.
Label on a neuron: First time I touched a boob o'clock
Panel 4 (header): PROPER TIME IS FINITE AND HOMOGENOUS.
A single straight arrow labeled BEGINNING. at one end and END. at the other.
Panel 5 (header): REMEMBERED TIME IS INFINITE AND CLUMPY.
A tangled mass of loops labeled THEN (at start) and NOW (at end).
Note: DAY I SAVED A LIFE (CONTINUALLY EXPANDING)
Note: TIME I HAD AN ERECTION AND FORGOT TO ZIP UP (CURRENTLY MISSING)
Panel 6 (header): PROPER TIME MEMORIES EXIST ONLY IN THE PAST. REMEMBERED TIME MEMORIES CAN EXIST ANYWHEN.
Woman (with glasses): REMEMBER HOW YOU THANKED ME FOR THOSE PIANO LESSONS?
Child/young person: WHAT? I HATE THE PIA[NO]
Woman: THAT'S WHAT I SAY TO FUTURE YOU!
Panel 7 (header): HUMANS ARE BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE OF ACCESSING PROPER TIME. THIS IS WHY A POINT IN REMEMBERED TIME IS NEVER THE SAME AS LAST TIME YOU CHECKED IT...
Three sub-panels labeled INITIAL, SUBSEQUENT, FINAL: a man reacts with rising alarm to a bear that appears, then in the FINAL panel the bear is mauling/riding him.
Panel 8 (header): WHY LOVE IS POSSIBLE...
Two couples (one young, one elderly) smiling and holding hands, each shown thinking warmly of the other.
Panel 9 (header): AND WHY LIFE IS BEARABLE.
Three sub-panels labeled INITIAL, SUBSEQUENT, FINAL: a man (thinking of a heart) progresses; in the FINAL panel he is again being mauled by the bear.
Votey:
Header caption: ALSO IT RUINS FOOD.
A woman looks down sadly at a hamburger she is holding.
Woman: BUT... BUT YOU WERE DELICIOUS WHEN I WAS 8.
Labels: PROPER (with a straight arrow) / REMEMBERED (with a chaotic, tangled scribble of a line).
Panel 2: PROPER TIME IS KEPT ON WATCHES.
Label on a watch: March 23, 1993 / 3:14 PM o'clock
Panel 3: REMEMBERED TIME IS STORED IN NEURONS.
Label on a neuron: First time I touched a boob o'clock
Panel 4 (header): PROPER TIME IS FINITE AND HOMOGENOUS.
A single straight arrow labeled BEGINNING. at one end and END. at the other.
Panel 5 (header): REMEMBERED TIME IS INFINITE AND CLUMPY.
A tangled mass of loops labeled THEN (at start) and NOW (at end).
Note: DAY I SAVED A LIFE (CONTINUALLY EXPANDING)
Note: TIME I HAD AN ERECTION AND FORGOT TO ZIP UP (CURRENTLY MISSING)
Panel 6 (header): PROPER TIME MEMORIES EXIST ONLY IN THE PAST. REMEMBERED TIME MEMORIES CAN EXIST ANYWHEN.
Woman (with glasses): REMEMBER HOW YOU THANKED ME FOR THOSE PIANO LESSONS?
Child/young person: WHAT? I HATE THE PIA[NO]
Woman: THAT'S WHAT I SAY TO FUTURE YOU!
Panel 7 (header): HUMANS ARE BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE OF ACCESSING PROPER TIME. THIS IS WHY A POINT IN REMEMBERED TIME IS NEVER THE SAME AS LAST TIME YOU CHECKED IT...
Three sub-panels labeled INITIAL, SUBSEQUENT, FINAL: a man reacts with rising alarm to a bear that appears, then in the FINAL panel the bear is mauling/riding him.
Panel 8 (header): WHY LOVE IS POSSIBLE...
Two couples (one young, one elderly) smiling and holding hands, each shown thinking warmly of the other.
Panel 9 (header): AND WHY LIFE IS BEARABLE.
Three sub-panels labeled INITIAL, SUBSEQUENT, FINAL: a man (thinking of a heart) progresses; in the FINAL panel he is again being mauled by the bear.
Votey:
Header caption: ALSO IT RUINS FOOD.
A woman looks down sadly at a hamburger she is holding.
Woman: BUT... BUT YOU WERE DELICIOUS WHEN I WAS 8.
Alt text
A tall black-and-white-and-color SMBC comic contrasting two kinds of time. Header: "Reality has two dimensions of time: proper time and remembered time." One diagram shows a straight arrow labeled PROPER; another shows a chaotic tangled scribble labeled REMEMBERED. "Proper time is kept on watches" shows a watch reading "March 23, 1993, 3:14 PM o'clock." "Remembered time is stored in neurons" shows a neuron labeled "First time I touched a boob o'clock." "Proper time is finite and homogenous" shows a single arrow from BEGINNING to END. "Remembered time is infinite and clumpy" shows a snarled mass of loops from THEN to NOW, with tags "Day I saved a life (continually expanding)" and "Time I had an erection and forgot to zip up (currently missing)." "Proper time memories exist only in the past. Remembered time memories can exist anywhen": a bespectacled woman says "Remember how you thanked me for those piano lessons?"; a kid snaps "What? I hate the pia--"; she replies "That's what I say to future you!" "Humans are biologically incapable of accessing proper time. This is why a point in remembered time is never the same as last time you checked it...": three panels labeled INITIAL, SUBSEQUENT, FINAL show a man growing alarmed at a bear and finally being mauled by it. "Why love is possible...": two happy couples, one young and one elderly, hold hands and think fondly of each other. "And why life is bearable.": three more INITIAL/SUBSEQUENT/FINAL panels end again with the man being mauled by the bear. Votey: a panel captioned "Also it ruins food." A woman sadly holds a hamburger and says, "But... but you were delicious when I was 8."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.